


violet eyes

by iminlovewithyelena



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Happy Ending, Other, all characters are kind of ooc but its fine, and def just a coping mechanism 4 me, i just want kalluto to be happy, idk what else to put here lmao, kalluto brainrot, this is rly short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29794365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iminlovewithyelena/pseuds/iminlovewithyelena
Summary: purple finds blue again- finally.
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Kalluto Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Kalluto Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	violet eyes

The boy’s eyes widened slightly in shock, his zetsu accidentally releasing, causing his target to turn and stare.

The other boy he’d been wanting to talk to, to see, to _finally just get along with_ for three years stood in the center of the violet-eyed boy’s vision, as if there was nothing he could ever look at again.

The white-haired boy in front of him simply stared. His face had painted on an expression of confusion, but somewhere in there, the boy could sense the relief that filled him.

Kalluto’s breath hitched, and his eyes began to water a bit.

_No. Do not cry. Remember what they taught you._

_NO._

It was far too late.

The first tear to ever escape those carefully guarded purple eyes ran its way down his face, carving a path for more to come.. It was a strange relief, a way to get out how he truly felt without the repression that'd been ingrained into his head for so very long.

He knew, instinctively, how angry his parents and other older brothers would be if they saw him now, tearing up over simply seeing his lost brother again, simply being able to explain himself to the white-haired boy, simply being by his side. But Kalluto had escaped there three years ago, wanting to search for Killua on his own, a different goal in mind than the rest of his family.

He wondered if Killua had ever felt this trapped inside their family’s teachings. If he’d ever felt so lost swimming through the strange urges that told him two different things.

_bottle it up, don’t let them know, if they know, they hurt you._

However, the human-like part of him reached out to him, screaming to _cry louder, cry more, just cry, PLEASE, let everything out_.

He wondered if Killua and him were alike in this aspect.

Kalluto made the first move, a step from the bushes as he carefully made his way towards his brother, feeling as if he were moving in slow motion. He hadn’t expected this to be so direct, for him to simply march up to the former heir of the Zoldycks and talk to him as if it hadn’t been years since they’d last talked.

Killua still simply stared.

A thousand questions scrambled through Kalluto’s mind, things to ask him and ice to break.

It was like they were strangers again, Kalluto's direct confrontation becoming more and more uncertain after each step he took.

_Why didn’t you come home?_

_Is Alluka safe?_

_Killua, can we talk?_

_I’m not on their side anymore._

_I had to escape, I’ve been on my own for three years, and I finally found you._

_I missed you so much._

_I’m sorry._

They were all things he could say; ways to apologize, ways to get Killua to understand that all he wanted for these past few years was to see him and travel along with him.

But different words escaped his lips instead, without his consent, or even a thought given to what they might entail in a response.

“Killua,” Kalluto began, voice hoarse and rough from the misuse from the past years, “do you hate me?”

He immediately clapped a hand over his mouth, ashamed that he, a Zoldyck, would ever care how another person thought of him, family or not. But when he looked back up into Killua’s eyes, he noticed his own emotions seemed to be reciprocating, Killua’s eyes shimmering far more than normal, and his gaze… fond… almost. Fond of Kalluto.

_How?_

_How could anyone become fond of Kalluto, of all people?_

He knew the answer to his question would probably still be a brisk “yeah,” and Killua’s back turned to him. He certainly hated their other family members, and Kalluto had done nothing but go along with them. He deserved Killua’s hatred.

“No, Kalluto. I don’t.”

A sharp intake of breath was heard from Kalluto, and he could feel a smile etching its way into his lips. However faint and painfully disfigured that smile was didn’t matter. What mattered is that he found the one he’d been looking for. The person he’d idolized, watched from the sidelines but never seeming to have the strength to talk to. And suddenly, his feelings bubbled up to the surface and spilled out, telling Killua everything.

“I missed you so much. And I hated myself for staying there with the Zoldycks, and I don’t know… I don’t know why I didn’t leave earlier. I could’ve gone with you, could’ve seen the world with you, and Alluka, and that boy you like, Gon! But I feel like that wasn’t meant to happen. I think I had to prove myself first. To prove that I really could find you, and that I could help you and adventure with you. To prove I wasn’t just a burden. To be honest, even when Mother kept me by her side and ‘loved me’ I still felt like a burden, But I knew I wouldn’t if I found you and I’m sorry, really sor-”

“Kalluto, you didn’t do anything wrong,” the other boy broke in, “if anything, I did. I should have helped you too, like how I helped Alluka. I was selfish, and simple-minded.”

Kalluto’s jaw dropped a bit into a soft ‘o’ shape as the preconceived notion of Killua hating him shattered in front of his eyes, and he realized that those words were the only thing he really wanted. He didn’t need Killua to bring him along on their travels, even though that _would_ be an amazing added bonus for him. He didn’t want Alluka to smile at him and tell him she loved him. He didn’t want anything other than to feel individual- for Killua to say that he was an individual person, someone different from the emotionless drones that were Illumi and Milluki, that he was someone worth saving from that wretched family in the first place.

He needed someone to tell him he was _worth something._

And the boy he’d been dreaming to hear it from just said it.

That Kalluto deserved escape just as much as Alluka.

His mouth shifted into a smile, knowing that there was nothing he could say now to make this situation better. Everything he felt was pure bliss, and if he added to it, it wouldn’t be the same.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a girl in a pink dress running up to Killua, calling out to him. “Big brother! I’m back!”

Killua somehow forced his voice to not crack or stutter as he answered the girl.

“Hi, Alluka. I think… Kalluto is going to travel with us.” Kalluto’s eyes widened in excitement, hiding the confusion that Killua could decide this so quickly, and state that Kalluto was worth bringing along with no hesitation.

Alluka turned to look at him. “Kalluto! I haven’t seen you in forever! You’re gonna come with us! That’s so cool!”

The violet-eyed boy was confused by her happiness. Hadn’t he been horrible to her? Never bothering to say a word to her, and not even helping Killua free her?

Alluka certainly was different. But there was something different about Kalluto, too. Something had shifted in him through his travels, and had been solidified from his previous conversation with Killua.

Normally, there was a jealousy that always surrounded his feelings about Alluka. Something that kept him from understanding her, a jealousy so strong that it gave him the motivation to _keep her away from Killua_. But now that he was here with his brother, who accepted him truly and fully, and acknowledged that Kalluto was an individual, the jealousy was gone. He could finally see that Alluka truly was just a sweet girl.

A girl who deserved Killua’s protection and care, just as he did.

When Kalluto had started his journey to find his long-lost brother and sister, he’d expected it to end with hatred.

Hatred from both Killua and Alluka, directed at him so strongly that he wouldn’t be able to breathe.

So strong that the impregnable self-hate that lay deep inside Kalluto’s mind would arise again, and would take him over completely.

He hadn’t even known why he’d continued his path to find them when all that seemed to lay ahead was hatred.

But now, he was here with people who recognized him for something other than his power, something other than his nen or his ability to follow orders to kill seamlessly.

He was with people who cared.

People who cared for him just as he cared for them.

He was finally happy.

And free to show it to whoever he wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this short asf ik and kalluto is kinda ooc and so is killua but i dont give a fuck because i read something where kalluto got shunned by killua and it broke my heart so i needed to write something happy(ish) ig? idk i just cannot stop thinking about kalluto recently. so yeah hope u liked, if you didn't like it then sucks for you idk what to say to you lmao. ok im tappin out bye.


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